Living up to prior pieces of work

 Hey y'all, 

  let me first say thank you for taking the time to read these, it makes a huge difference for me to know that there are people willing to invest their time into the project I have put so much time and effort into. I'll be trying to create these roughly twice a week if I can, between updates and general ideas that float for me.

One of the biggest inhibitors that I have found myself struggling with is comparison to how much I used to be able to write on such a short notice with unlimited amounts of time. 

When I first began to transfer all of my notes into Obsidian on a whim and suggestion from a member of a discord server, I realized that I felt so much more free in my note taking. I was without a real job at the time, much like the present, but I had ample amounts of time to create supplementary material for Mannon. I found myself making massive documents for components to the world such as the Labyrinth and the Hecatonchires. I would reasonably say those are two of my favorite written pieces of my entire world, solely because I received a lot of validation for those pieces when I showed them off. 

I've had a lot of time between when I wrote those and now, roughly a couple years, and I can definitely tell I've matured since that point in time. That time has given me the chance to see that the validation in writing those was fleeting but the feeling it gave me wasn't. However, it leaves me with a lot to be desired about some of the other components in my worldbuilding. Many times I find myself looking at the older pieces of work I've done, hoping that I can put out a similar level of detail into another part of the world. 

I want to be able to create much longer and more detailed elements of the world, such as Ephire, which has a great deal of writing but doesn't feel like it has quite the right soul behind the writing. There's plenty of revisions to be made for that particular document, but I know that it will take a stroke of inspiration genius for me to hit that. 

I wouldn't say I feel truly deflated when it comes to making more components of the world that have a greater depth to them, but I definitely hold a sense of longing and desire to improve upon my ability to not squirrel brain to another subject when I bring it up via the current file/note I have in front of me. If anything I'm hopeful with the time that I have now available to me so that I can push for a better quality.

I'm sure many people can relate to this feeling of lowered quality from where you once stood, but I think what it really boils down to is a nostalgia for the feelings you had from the work you made in that time. A personal pride in your work that you can always reclaim by making more and trying to do better, even if you don't always feel like you can or are currently. 

Thanks for reading and Happy Thanksgiving,
Oni